I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
