Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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