ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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