He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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