Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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