The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
