i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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