By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
