Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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