Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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