So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
