Do you still have your period?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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