You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i now understand why vodka
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
