So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
