Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We are two peas in an std pod
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
