Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
