For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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