How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
