So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
