I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
