white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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