I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
