this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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