Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
