why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Will exercising make me less horny?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
