I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
