You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
