I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize