I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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