Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize