You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize