The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can't put those talents on a resume
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
