You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
