I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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