Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize