just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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