I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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