I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize