apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
