the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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