Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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