Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
