I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
