Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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