What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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