hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
