I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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