Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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