if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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