i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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