You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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