This house was built for laser tag.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
