nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
