Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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