whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
