$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Found your dick twin last night
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
