Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
