btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
