Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
