if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
