The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
