Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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