I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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