The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
