I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Dear god my vagina.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
