ya dads aren't the best wingmen
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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