oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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