That's when you crack a 10am beer
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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