it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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